Schadenfreude
by Explosivo25
Summary: Canada's feeling crappy after a world meeting, so Prussia decides to cheer him up...sort of. Rated T for language. Basically a Hetalia version of the song "Schadenfreude" from Avenue Q.


**A/N: Yeah, yeah, I know what you're thinking. "Whaaat? Explosivo is still alive? Also, she's doing Hetalia fics now?" Yes, I've been watching a lot of Hetalia lately, now that Total Drama Pahkitew Island is done. I've been thinking of doing a song parody fic involving Avenue Q for quite some time, and I got this fanfiction idea at 5 a.m. when I was derping around on the Internet. So...uh, enjoy?**

**Starring:**

**Canada as Nicky**

**Prussia as Gary**

**Disclaimer: I don't own the song or the characters, obviously. I only own this really dumb idea. Also, lyrics are changed slightly.**

The world meeting had just ended, and it was safe to say that Canada was NOT in a good mood. Once again, no one was able to see him. Once again, Russia had sat on him, not hearing a single one of his protests. Once again, he sat and waited to be called on, but his turn never came. Just how long could he continue to put up with this?

He noticed Prussia sitting in the lobby of the building (probably waiting for his brother) and gave him a half-hearted wave. Prussia looked up at the nation and began to speak.

"Right now you are down and out, and feeling really crappy..." said Prussia.

"I'll say." Canada replied, feeling relieved that at least someone cared.

Prussia snickered before continuing.

"And when I see how sad you are, it sorta makes me...happy!"

Canada was taken aback. He was ENJOYING this?

"Happy?!"

Prussia just laughed before continuing.

"Sorry, man, just human nature. Nothing I can do. It's Schadenfreude, making me feel glad that I'm not you!"

"Well, I don't think that's very nice!" Canada replied. What was "Schadenfreude", and why did Prussia seem to enjoy his misery so much?

"I never said it was nice!" Prussia exclaimed. "But everybody does it, even you! You ever clap when a waitress falls and drops a tray of glasses?"

As much as he didn't want to admit it, he had done it. Once.

"Y-yeah." Canada admitted sheepishly.

"And ain't it fun to watch figure skaters falling on their asses?"

"Sure." Now that, he WASN'T afraid to admit. Some of them did have very nice asses.

Prussia grinned. "Don't you feel all warm and cozy watching people out in the rain?"

"You bet!" Well, he couldn't be nice ALL the time.

"That's Schadenfreude! People taking pleasure in your pain."

Canada scratched his head. "So what is 'Schadenfreude'? Is that some kind of German thing?"

"Yep! It means 'happiness at the misfortune of others.'"

Now it was Canada's turn to laugh. "Happiness at the misfortune of others, huh? That sounds pretty German to me."

"Exactly! Why don't you think of one?"

He thought for a moment. "Watching a vegetarian being told she just are chicken!" he said.

"Yeah! Or watching a frat boy realize just what he put his dick in!" replied Prussia.

Canada was starting to feel better already. "Being on an elevator when somebody shouts 'HOLD THE DOOR!'"

"NO!" they both yelled at the same time. "Schadenfreude!"

"Fuck you lady, that's what stairs are for!" Prussia added.

Both men had begun to dissolve into a fit of laughter. "Ooh, how about straight A students getting B's?" suggested Canada.

"Exes getting STD's!" Prussia exclaimed.

"Waking doormen from their naps!"

"Watching tourists reading maps!"

"Football players getting tackled!"

"CEO's getting shackled!"

"Watching actors never reach-"

"-the ending of their Oscar speech!"

Both were nearly rolling on the floor at this point.

"Schadenfreude! Schadenfreude! Schadenfreude! Schadenfreude!" they yelled.

Prussia went up to Canada and put his arm around his shoulder.

"The world needs people like you and me who've been knocked around by fate. 'Cause when people see us, they don't wanna be us, and that makes them feel great!"

"Sure!" Canada agreed. "We provide a vital service to society!"

"You and me!" they added. "Schadenfreude, making the world a better place to be!"

"S-C-H-A-D-E-N-F-R-E-U-D-E." said Prussia, since, let's face it, the word was extremely hard to spell.

The two nations collapsed into a fit of laughter.

Germany exited the elevator, exhausted from the meeting. Not only was it long and frustrating, many of the others (ESPECIALLY America and Italy) had made a huge mess, and he was stuck with cleanup duty. He noticed that Prussia (who he knew was waiting for him) was laughing his ass off about something. He couldn't tell what it was, as there was nothing unusual in sight nor anyone else (from what he could see, anyway) with him. Ultimately, he decided it was better not to ask. This WAS Prussia, after all.

**A/N: Sorry if it wasn't that good, I'm still not a very good writer. I did enjoy creating this, especially since I was able to use some irony (I think you know where). I'm also doing a GerIta version of "If You Were Gay" because, seriously, it's just too perfect. Anyway, read and review!**


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